FMA & The Haunted House
by AnimeAmy26c
Summary: When Havoc suggests a tour around a haunted house things can only go badly and with Hughes unhappy at being left out and Envy plotting they can only get worse. Slight EdRoy fluffiness. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

"Seriously, Havoc," Roy mumbled, " A haunted house?"

"Of course, Chief. Haunted house. Would I lie to you?" Havoc replied, puffing on his cigarette.

"Sounds a bit like Warehouse 13 to me, Havoc. I refuse to be drawn into yet another wild goose chase," Roy grumbled.

"Oh, come one, Chief. You'll look like a scaredy cat we even convinced Edward to come," Havoc grinned, his cigarette hung perilously from his mouth.

"How'd you do that?" Roy asked.

Suddenly everything went black and white and wavy and grainy.

"NO NOT A FLASHBACK!" Roy and Havoc yelled.

EARLIER THAT DAY…

"Hey, Edward!" Havoc yelled, running after Ed in the street.

"Yes, Havoc," Ed replied, turning.

"You know Ed, me and Mustang and the guys are testing our bravery at a haunted house and wondered…"

"No way, Havoc. NO. WAY," Ed replied bluntly.

"Ah, I guess I overestimated the Fullmetal Alchemist's bravery. Bravery and HEIGHT," Havoc emphasized.

"What did you say?" Ed growled, ferociously.

"Oh, nothing," Havoc sighed wondering away from Ed.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT GHOSTS CAN'T SCARE HIM BECAUSE THEY DIE AGAIN LAUGHING AT HIS HEIGHT!!!" Ed shouted furiously, in typical Ed-rant style.

"Are you in?" Havoc grinned.

"Damn right, I'm in!" Ed yelled, "I'll show you!"

BACK TO THE PRESENT

"Oh, that was pretty smart, Havoc. And all this time I thought you were a moron," Roy said.

"Oh, thank you, Chief. I think," Havoc replied, "So you in too, Chief?"

"I'll think about it," Roy replied.

"I assume that means no," Havoc said.

"Yes, it is," Roy answered him.

"Oh, well," a smirk grew across Havoc's face, "Just look at all that paperwork Hawkeye told you had to do tonight."

Almost as sudden as Havoc's smirk had come Roy soon changed his mind.

"So, when do we leave?" Roy smiled, clapping his hands together.

"Ten o'clock tonight. We leave from the front gates to Headquarters. We'll see you there," Havoc grinned.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

This was another one suggested by a friend, so thanks to her again!

I don't have much else to say about this chapter just now.

Bye~!

Amy.


	2. Chapter 2

It was almost half past ten when Roy finally begrudgingly met up with the others.

Havoc was grinning like a Cheshire cat with a cigarette hanging from his mouth, Fuery was near tears and was whimpering something about how did he end up getting drawn into this, Breda was trying to put on a brave face, as was Falman and Ed looked like he was about to pop a vein with the furious look he showed on his face.

"Edward, how nice of you to come along, my little friend," Roy grinned, leaning over so he was looking down Ed.

"RARR! DON'T CALL ME SMALL!" Ed shrieked at Roy.

"Be quiet, Ed. I'm meant to be working, if Hawkeye catches me out here I'm screwed," Roy said, pushing Ed backwards.

Ed simply trembled with fury and trod along at a small distance behind the others.

_____

As they passed by Hughes' house he was watching out the window.

"Where are they going?" Hughes mumbled to Gracia.

"Who, honey?" Gracia replied.

"Roy and Ed and the others. They didn't try to call me, did they? To invite me out, too?" Hughes asked desperately.

"No, we haven't had any phone calls from them," Gracia answered.

"Well then, I shall have to teach them a lesson, won't I?" Hughes grumbled, pushing his glasses up and looking very sly.

"Please don't do something stupid, dear," Gracia told him.

"Of course I won't!" Hughes replied and then turned to Elysia, "Daddy just needs to scare the crap outta Uncle Roy and Little Ed and the others, ok?"

"Yay!" Elysia yelled in response.

_____

"There it is!" Havoc announced dramatically, pointing at an old dilapidated house at the end of an empty street.

"It just looks like a stereotypical haunted house image," Roy moaned.

Fuery whimpered something inaudible.

"Let's get in there, so I can show that Edward Elric is no little scaredy!" Ed shouted, marching ahead.

"He could prove he's not a scaredy, but the little bit will be a lot harder harder to prove," Breda laughed.

A vein popped on the back of Ed's head, but he carried on regardless.

As they approached the rusty gate they realised that there was a huge padlock blocking their entry.

"Oh no, looks like we'll not be getting in," Roy sighed in a mock disappointment.

"Don't' worry!" a booming voice announced behind them.

"Is that…" Ed turned mid-sentence to see Armstrong standing with no shirt and flexing.

"Don't worry, my friends!" Armstrong announced.

"Oh, dear lord," Ed mumbled.

"Armstrong, when did you get here?" Roy asked, confused.

"I take my friends safety very seriously and that is why I followed you all here in case you needed any assistance!" Armstrong exclaimed, still flexing.

"Stalker…" Ed grumbled.

"So I came to help you all out of your current situation! I will remove the padlock from that gate with such ease you'd think it was little more than ripping a piece of paper!" Armstrong shouted dramatically.

"So you're going to rip it off?" Havoc asked.

"Yes, of course!"

With that Armstrong reached over and tore the padlock and chain off the gate.

"THAT METHOD OF REMOVING PADLOCKS AND CHAINS FROM RUSTY GATES HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!!!" Armstrong announced.

"If you plan on tagging along please put your shirt back on, Major Armstrong," Roy told him.

"No thank you! I shall keep an eye on you from the distance!" Armstrong announced, walking backwards and trying to look like he was fading into the distance, but was failing that miserably.

"Stalker," Ed repeated.

"Stalker or not, we can get in now!" Havoc smiled.

"Let's just get in there then go, I have better things to be doing," Roy mumbled.

"Like paperwork?" Ed questioned, snidely.

"Shut up, Shorty," Roy smirked.

"DON'T. CALL. ME. SMALL!!!" Ed yelled, furiously.

"Always with the height comments, all the time! I'm not that short!" Ed shrieked at them all.

"Well, not short for a five year old," Fuery laughed, for once his worried face smiled for a change.

"Dammit Fuery! You're not much taller than me!" Ed yelled.

"Break it up, Ladies," Havoc intervened, "Let's get moving."

"You wouldn't recognise a lady when you see one because you haven't had a date in so long!" Breda laughed at Havoc.

"Shut up!" Havoc shouted, defensively, "Plus, I would get a date if Roy didn't always steal them!"

"It's Colonel Mustang to you!" Roy yelled then laughed, "But Breda made a good point there, Havoc!"

"I would recognise a woman! I see Hawkeye everyday!" Havoc shouted.

"She doesn't count," Breda replied.

"Don't say that about Hawkeye! She is a beautiful and intelligent woman!" Roy defended.

With that the whole group just sort of looked at Roy.

"Falman, you owe me 50 bucks!" Havoc announced, "I told you he loved her really!"

"Shut up!" Roy shouted at them.

"Ooh!" they chanted like ten year olds, even Ed joined them in their childish mocking.

_____

In the distance Hughes was watching them.

"Ha! They can't spend more than an hour together before they start tearing at each other's throats," Hughes grinned, "They are in for the fright of their lives!"

Hughes then did an evil laugh and an equally evil pose before leaping back into a bush to hide.

_____

"Did someone hear something that sounded like evil laughter?" Fuery whimpered.

"Shut up, Fuery," Roy mumbled.

They slowly walked towards the house through the overgrown garden with Roy at the front, after being pushed there.

Behind him the order was Ed, Havoc, Falman and Breda dragging a Fuery,who was sobbing.

_____

On the roof of the house was Envy and Wrath.

"Ah, there they are. This'll be fun. Scaring the Fullmetal Shrimp and the others," Envy said with a creepy smile.

"Envy are we stalkers?" Wrath asked intently.

"Shut up, Wrath," Envy replied, pushing Wrath backwards off the roof.

"Waah!" Wrath wailed as he fell.

_____

"Did anyone hear a ghost wailing?" Fuery cried.

"Shut up, Fuery!" Roy yelled, delivering a swift smack to the back of Fuery's head.

* * *

Aw poor Fuery. I love him really! Especially FueryxHavoc, but that doesn't matter right now.

There are no plans for any pairings, but I know that there is some EdxRoy very lightly implied in the next few chapters, but nothing big.

Anyway I hope you all enjoyed this. It's not taken very seriously at all, especially stalker Armstrong and stalkerish Hughes. Although I could believe Armstrong would stalk them like that in case they needed assitance.

So thanks for reading.

Please review! All reviews are welcome, even **constructive** criticism.

Bye~!

Amy.


	3. Chapter 3

They approached the porch of the house and the steps creaked with every step each of them took.

Roy peered through the eerie and dusty window.

"What do you see?" Ed asked him, showing a very slight expression of fear.

"Well, there's a room full of ghost's having a party," Roy replied, very calmly.

"Waah!" Fuery cried.

"I was being sarcastic," Roy said, with a look of dismay.

"Oh, I uh… I uh knew that," Fuery whimpered in response.

"Chief, I got the door open," Havoc said to Roy.

"Fine, go in," Roy replied.

"I think you and Ed, should go in first, you are State Alchemists after all," Havoc said, attempting to smile like he was unafraid.

"Fine then, you cowards. Edward you go in," Roy ordered, motioning Ed towards the door.

Ed gulped deeply and stepped forward, "Ok, I'm no coward."

Just as he was about to step in alone he grabbed Roy's arm and flipped Roy in front of himself, before stepping in.

"WHY THE HECK'D YOU DO THAT?!" Roy shouted angrily while he lay on the ground.

"You were gonna let me go in alone!"

Suddenly gust of wind blew down the stairs and slammed the door shut.

The door rattled furiously as Havoc attempted to reopen it.

"Chief are you ok?" Havoc shouted.

"I'm fine, no thanks to Ed. The door just got slammed shut, are you going to open it?" Roy grumbled, rubbing at his back.

Suddenly a howling noise filled the house, running footsteps were heard.

"Are you going to get help?" Roy shouted.

There was no response.

"Not funny, Havoc! Get the door open!"

"IF YOU DON'T OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW I'LL WILL KICK YOUR bleepING ASS!" Ed shrieked.

Silence.

"Roy, are we trapped?" Ed asked, calmly.

"It would appear so," Roy replied just as calm as Ed.

"Oh, well. That is quite the predicament," Ed smiled.

"Are you going to go crazy?" Roy asked.

"Quite possibly," Ed replied, his voice began show panic.

"Well, we should be prepared. I don't know when they'll return," Roy responded.

"Waah!" Ed cried and ran off shrieking.

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed it!

Please review!

Bye~!

Amy.


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